Thursday, December 30, 2010

Birth Stories

My first born, Bella!  We were so surprised by this pregnancy.  A few months before Jim and I married, I began having pain daily in my low abdomen.  Being too busy planning a wedding, I put off going to the doctor until after the wedding.  I will never forget that day.  Jim was not there.  When my OB/GYN suggested an ultrasound, it scared me and I called Jim.  He was literally there is 5 minutes.  So after the ultrasound he said he needed to talk to us in his office.  I think Jim and I both knew this was not a good sign.  He said I had multiple issues that were going to make becoming pregnant, if at all possible, very difficult and most certainly require fertility intervention which were often times unsuccessful.  We were devastated. NO children! My heart was broken.  Life goes on.  So we did too!  We decided to move to the country since we were newlyweds and had no kids then that would be so fun!  About 7 months after we married, we moved into Jim's cabin.  I just could not get over the move.  I was really tired, playing tennis almost every night so I just thought I was exhausted!  So some time went by and I decided to "Trick" Jim and get a pregnancy test.  I came in and made it really dramatic! "Yeah I REALLY think I'm pregnant" HA HA(I'm thinking)  Well joke was on me because it was POSITIVE!  Excitement was not the word!  We were so happy and I knew that ISABELLA had to be her name!  Took a little heat from that because it was not a popular name then.  It fits her perfectly.  We had her and she was also the only grandchild.  I may add she was spoiled to pieces. She has such a sweet heart and really cares about her friends and family.  She gets her feelings hurt easy because she wears them on her sleeve.  She has been a wonderful child and we have been blessed to be her parents.  She is a great big sister and honestly I can say that I do not know if Jim and I would have made it through all this without her help.

There is a story to be told in between but that story will have it's own day because it is a story of grieving and that is not for today.

Now to Wyatt's story!  We had wanted another baby for so long.  After the loss, we just could not bear to lose again so we waited a while.  God taught us a lot during that waiting game.  So I will never forget the day I found out that we were blessed again.  A Friday, so many disappointed times before, but not this one! POSITIVE!! Jim and I were so excited! We had been doing everything right for so long.  I had been eating better, losing weight and taking prenatal vitamins and finally! Pregnant!  We did not want to tell anyone because of what happened before. So secrets became fun between Jim and me.  We traveled to Canada in July for my brother's wedding and the day after we came home I had an appointment.  Another ultrasound, my ob was doing them every 2 weeks to be cautious.  The baby looked great!  Growing bigger, strong heartbeat!  We could no longer keep any secrets, so we spilled the  beans!  My next appointment was about 3 weeks later and they did my routine prenatal labs.  This brings us to the next week.  On a Friday of course I was making rounds seeing patients and my cellphone rang.  My OB says your labs are back and a little abnormal.  Now I do not want you to panic because the chance is like 1 in 300 but I just want you to see my friend that is a perinatologist.  The moment I got off the phone I casually went to my clinic and told the doctor I worked with.  He said well I am sure it is a false positive as most are!  I said I am sure you are right!  We went on September 9th 2008 to see Dr. Kenneth Perry.  In the waiting room I got the answer I was looking for, I felt the first kick! I just knew everything was going to be fine because that was God's way of telling me!  After an ultrasound for about 1 1/2 hours, Dr. Perry became quiet.  The silence was killing me so I prayed for God to take this off my mind.  The verse He gave me was the 23rd Psalm, particularly, "Yea, though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I will fear no evil for you are with me".  At that moment, I knew my baby would have Spina Bifida but I also knew that God was in control and we would be okay. So that kick in the lobby was a sign, that baby was telling me "Mommy, I am special and I am a fighter!"  The next thing the doctor said was that the choice to terminate was there.  It was IMMEDIATELY rejected, and the doctor agreed.  He was so supportive and was the BEST physician for telling parents they are having a special baby.  It was our 8th anniversary!  Such a hard day.  We did go through with the amnio that day.  Not as bad as I had thought!  The weeks to come we would find that he had a heart defect that through prayer and a miracle from God once again, healed itself!  For so long it was hard to be happy about being pregnant.  When you have experienced a loss you find it hard to be happy until you know things are going to be okay.  Just when that time came for us, we found out about spina bifida.  I think the first thing I bought was socks because I could easily part from them if we lost him.  Pregnancy was hard! On New Year's Eve he decided he had waited long enough and at a non-stress test they found me to be in labor 8 weeks early.  I was transferred to UMC in Jackson,MS and they were able to hold off delivery until January 2nd, 2009.  I got to see him for about 3 seconds before they whisked him off to assess him.  He was perfect! That is the only word I can find.  Our world has been a roller coaster since that very moment but what a ride!  I can not imagine our life without Wyatt (which means "warrior", Bella picked it out).  His life has already touched and blessed so many others.  I am a better person because I am his mama. 
So to my two beautiful children, I LOVE YOU BOTH AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Night time

Last night as Wyatt and I enjoyed our nightly ritual of rocking together until he falls asleep, I was reminded of times when I had my first child, Bella.  She will be nine in 2 weeks.  I remember laying in bed and watching her all night sometimes. Initially it started from a fear of her stopping breathing.  When she was a baby, we lived far into the woods.  The moonlight would do so much there because it had so many filters with all the trees.  I would watch Bella as the moonlight would come through the window and how it would cast light onto her face.  I remember thinking how amazing it was to be her mother and how beautiful she was even with just moonlight on her face.  Now I find myself holding Wyatt and rocking him at night.  I LOVE this boy's feet!  They are so soft and sweet.  My husband and I both have a habit of massaging and stretching his feet while he sleeps so the paralysis doesn't tighten his feet.  I guess some would say his feet are imperfect from the spina bifida.  I do not! Those are the feet that God blessed us with in so many ways.  I am so thankful for my children and the lessons I learn from them daily.  We are quickly approaching Wyatt and Bella's birthday so I guess that is why I am so sappy! HA I think it is about time for birth stories!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Christmas time

Well I know it has been a while again.  We have once again had a few crazy weeks.  My best friend moved away last week and although she is still in Mississippi, the loss of her constant support and presence in my life leaves me feeling really sad in ways I can not explain!  It has really been hard to focus on this being holiday time!  The kids can help snap me out of that! Surprisingly, Wyatt LOVES Santa!  I mean what 23 month old will fight and cry to go up to him and touch him?  Most are screaming to get away, NOT Wyatt!  He wants to touch every single one of them he sees!  Now this is the same child that at the beginning of December thought Santa was my Grandmother that passed away when he was about 13 days old and still in the NICU.  We have always told him who she was and shown him pictures! So he would see Santa and say "MAMAW"!  So funny!  Bella is really excited to be out of school and to get to spend some time with her brother and her aunt and Nan!  It has been really busy but slowing down enough now for us to stop and really cherish the reason for Christmas! JESUS!  And we are so thankful!

Wyatt and Bella with Santa at Bass Pro Shop, December 2010

Spina Bifida Kids: Another talent to share!!

Spina Bifida Kids: Another talent to share!!: "Let me introduce you to Jennifer!! Jennifer has 2 little ones and still has time to make some beautiful things!! Amazing TUTUs and HairC..."

Wyatt does wear leg warmers because of his poor circulation. Especially this time of year they keep his tootsies warm!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Lovin on the cat!

I think the cat thought if he just played dead that Wyatt would go away! NOT HAPPENING!